Renee Lily is born on 25 October 2011. After 6 weeks I finally I find the time to blog about it. This last month was very intense, and we hardly found some time for ourselves. By night Renee has been amazingly quiet, but to put two children to sleep every night has revealed to be quite a challenge.
The birth was great. We are very happy, nothing went as foreseen but nothing went wrong. It was just perfect: in the end Dorothea gave birth at home. It was an unexpected adventure. The due date was five days earlier, on 20 October. Dorothea's belly was so big that she was almost not able to do anything anymore. Her mother had arrived here from Switzerland on 14 Oct, everything was ready, but the new one did not want to come out. In the birth preparatory course they had told us that there are mainly two natural ways to induce the labor to start: one is sex and the second is breastfeeding.
That day Dorothea woke up a bit later than usual, at 9 am, and immediately Marlen wanted to be breastfed. After few minutes Doro had a first contraction, and it was immediately strong. After five minutes another one. We expected the labor to start slowly and we were told to go to the birthing center, 40 minutes away, when they were at about intervals of 7 minutes. But another contraction came, and another after that.
We still wanted to have breakfast, and Dorothea decided to have a hot shower, that was supposed to slow the contractions. In the beginning it seemed to work, and the contractions were every ten minutes. I called the doula and told her that Doro was going into labor. She doubted in the beginning, it seemed way to fast to her (as well as to me) but I told her that I was sure. We started to prepare our things for going to the birthing center, find the camera, the presents for Marlen, some other clothes, calling Lisa, the doula, and Rosa, the midwife. But while this all happened it was already 10.30 am, and Dorothea's contractions were much stronger now, and again every five minutes, so she had to lye on the bed and rest. I was worried.
The contractions of Doro were faster now, and stronger with less than 5 minutes break. At 11 am we made a last attempt to leave, Dorothea's mother was already out of the door, I tried to lift Dorothea from the bed, I have put an arm under her shoulders, but it was impossible to go. She just collapsed down on the floor and I had to put her on the bed. There was no choice anymore: Dorothea called Lisa and told her to change plan and come to our place. I called Rosa to tell her to hurry. Marlen was happy and playful and had gotten a lot of biscuits while I was running around trying to see what I could do.
Anyway there was not really much time to think. Dorothea contractions became unbearable. I did not make anymore photos, also because my camera disappeared. I said to Dorothea's mother to stay with Doro while I took Marlen to our neighbours' place, Nick and Mignon, a British-Korean couple who could take care of her.
Once back Dorothea started to have even stronger contractions while she was in the bathroom, so she could not go back on the bed. I took her under the armpit and put her in Marlen's small room. Dorothea said that she felt the urge to push and that the baby was coming. I told her to not to and to wait for the arrival of Rosa. I realised that the baby could come out in few minutes. It was a frenetic time and I was really in panic. Dorothea's mother did not know what to do either so she started to iron some clothes. I started to fill a basin of hot water and prepare some towels, just because I saw it in some movies, but in fact I did not know what to do with it.
It was in that moment that this girl rang at the door. I hoped it was Lisa, the doula, or Rosa the midwife, but it was Lisa's assistant. This is a photo of her.
I am european so I am not very good in estimating the age of asian people. In that moment of panic I though that she was a 16 years girl sent by Lisa who would show up who knows when. She came in and I submerged her with silly questions like: "do you speak english?", and she replied "of course". While I was mumbling on how to use my basin of water, she asked me "how does she feel?", and with the lament from Doro's labor in the hear I brutally replied "don't you see??" indicating Doro, in my view on the verge of delivering. In fact I was told later that she was not 16, but that she just graduated in biology in USA, so her english is also very good, she is becoming a doula under the supervision of Lisa and her name is Myong. She remained calm and despite the absolute panic in which we all were and she set close to Doro and to tell her what do to. Doro told me later that she did a very good job. In 5 minutes came Rosa, the midwife, and in another 5 minutes Lisa was there as well.
Rosa made Dorothea turning on her back, which slowed down the process enough time to check that she was completely dilated and ready to deliver. Rosa wanted to change her own clothes and put on a "working suite", but there was not enough time. Lisa sat on one side of Dorothea, Myong on the other side. Lisa and Rosa were very calm. They started bet on how many contractions Dorothea would need. Rosa said "ten" but she said also it was probably less. After six the baby was out.
The calm and relaxed smile of Rosa was able to unwind all of us. She is really a great midwife. Later Dorothea told me that two days before the birth she had met a buddhist monk while walking home. She and and the monk looked each other and the monk smiled to her. Dorothea passed him and after few meters she turned back and he turned back in the same time and smiled again. She walked few meters further, turned back again, and the monk was vanished. She looked around and there was no trace of him. She thought that this was a good sign. Rosa had same smile. Dorothea relaxed and realised that the birth was going to be fine, and that there was nothing to worry about.
After the first or second strong contraction the water broke. It was very wet, but Rosa had preventively put some absorbent towels on the floor. Myong gave me her place, so that I could stay close to Doro and speak with her. Lisa said to focus the energy to the belly, not to the legs. In the next two contractions Doro pulled her legs. I repeated to Doro what Lisa said, to focus on the belly and push from there. Focus on the navel. The birth increased pace, the baby advanced. We could see the airs of the head. I could touch the baby with my hand. The skin was folded on the head, due to pressure, like if she had a crest. It was only necessary another push and the head was out, Rosa said "don't push, stop pushing", the baby slowly came out. Renee was born.
The baby started immediately to breath. Rosa put the baby on Dorothea's chest. Normally during a natural birth the umbilical chord is left pulsating for a while, but Rosa said that it was too short. She marveled at how short it was: it was not even possible to bring Renee to the breast of the mom. Lisa told me and Myong to take the chord with one hand. I could feel the burst of the blood flow. It was like holding in the hands a big vein of our body. Rosa closed two sides of the chord, and gave me the scissors. After the cut Renee started to scream. Lisa helped to bring Renee to the breast of Doro to start breastfeeding.
Dorothea's mother found the camera. Marlen had hidden it in the bottom of a bag. She did not want me to take pictures of her suffering mom. This is the first photo that I have with Renee.
I appear without clothes because they had to give an IV to Doro and I hate to see that. After all the blood and everything, this was made me sick. I quickly went under the shower and cooled my head. I was ok after 2 minutes and I could take Renee Lily in my hands. Marlen had in the meantime just arrived and Lisa's assistant made some photos of the entire family. They are quite curious, all of us on the floor of the small Marlen's toys room.
Lisa was very present and constantly supported Dorothea. She had lost quite some blood, so she was very weak and while the IV was hydrating her with salt and water.
After some time we were more relaxed
Everybody wanted a photo with the new one! Here Marlen and Lisa..
Renee, very small and very quiet.
Marlen was embarrassed. The emotion was great.
Rosa weighted Renee: 2.770 Kg.
Rosa gave the baby to Marlen so that she could feel that her sister belonged to her.
Rosa and Lisa explained us some time ago that it is very important to let the older sister to bond with the newborn, in order to not to feel jealous of all the attentions that the young one would get in the future .
Marlen showed her preferite book to Renee
Here our great birthing team!
In Korea after the birth of every child they take the footprint of the newborn. Rosa and Myong had fun doing it.
The result was a quite amazing. A perfect identification of the baby. I can imagine that in the past this was an essential tool to avoid mistakes. Even today in the hospitals the children are in most cases taken immediately away after the birth, sometimes for long time. I believe that this remains to the parents who can always check that they will get the right baby.
Of course Marlen wanted to get the same prints as well, and Rosa was very happy of repeating the ritual for her. Their photos together are wonderful.
And with Marlen enjoying her sisterhood our special home-birth was concluded.
